How do military families handle communication when a service member is injured overseas?

Ariell Taylor-Brown learned about her husband’s death in Afghanistan from a fellow soldier via Facebook.

2009-0919, Health, Parents Told Son Was Dead.

Their son, SSG Jesse Jasper, 26, had not been killed. The Army says the incorrect news was delivered to the Niagara Falls, N.Y., family by mistake by a member the unit’s family support group.

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2012-0419, Media, Wife Learns of Husbands Combat Death on Facebook.

The script used Sunday began: “SGT Tyler A. Juden was killed in action while conducting combat operations in support of Bravo Troop 473 Cav.” It went on to say Juden’s family had been notified and services would be scheduled.

SSG Christopher Brown of Columbus, Ohio was killed April 3 by an insurgent bomb. He was in his fourth tour just one week before he was killed.

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The wife of a Fort Carson, CO soldier learned about his death on Facebook. Now the US military is investigating how a Facebook friend passed on the news before the Department of Defense had a chance to.

“I wish he could meet him. His dad is a hero,” said Taylor-Brown.

Taylor-Brown is a widow with two children. She said she was devastated and angry that she wasn’t informed by the military first.

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2006-0615, War, Health, Casualty Notification Rules, 3-Pages.

The error was “not malicious” and came from a member of the unit’s family support group outside the Pentagon.

A spokesman for the 82nd Airborne Division said Jasper’s unit, through its family readiness group, notifies all families of deaths within the unit to prevent undue worry and misinformation. Callers are instructed to read from a written script to prevent misinterpretation.

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“I saw the look on his face, and I asked him, ‘Is Jesse hurt? How bad is he hurt?’” Robin Jasper recalled Sept. 14. “He said, ‘He’s dead.’ “He dropped the phone and we both hit the floor sobbing.” But it wasn’t true.

Taylor-Brown says hours later, two soldiers arrived at her home, but she knew about it already.

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Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

The mix-up took place Sept. 13 when Raymond Jasper received an urgent message from the family liaison in his son’s unit, the 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C. The liaison the wife of a unit leader deployed with SSG Jasper told Raymond Jasper that she had a “red line message” that she needed to read to him verbatim.

Then SSG Jasper himself phoned.

The Army usually does not notify families of soldiers’ deaths by phone. An officer and a chaplain meeting with families in person to break the news.

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“A female in his platoon. She told me to call her immediately and I was in front of my kids, and I completely had a breakdown,” said Taylor-Brown.

Raymond Jasper was on a camping trip in New York State with his wife, Robin, when he got a phone call about his son, a soldier in Afghanistan.

Ariell Taylor-Brown had just said goodbye to her husband via Skype hours earlier when she learned he had been killed in Afghanistan.

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A Facebook page Standing with IDF receives 16,000 submissions of females around the world sending Simi-nude pictures of themselves with IDF slogans painted on their bodies. The page was set up by Gavriel Beyo. 27, Tel Aviv, as a way of improving the moral of Soldiers fighting in Gaza.

She found out from another soldier on her Facebook page asking her to call immediately that my husband was dead.

In this case, families were being notified of the death of SGT Tyler Juden, a 23-year-old from Winfield, Kan.

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Most soldiers are warned not to release information on a fellow soldier’s death until next of kin are notified. Soldiers who break the rules can be ordered to a Court Martial.

“I said, ‘Oh my God you’re alive, I love you, I love you, you’re alive,’” Raymond Jasper, 49, said. The whole incident has the Jaspers looking for some answers. “No family should have to go through this,” Robin Jasper said.

“I can’t speculate on how it was transmitted or how it was received,” Fickel said. The family liaison said she was not able to read the complete message before the call to the Jaspers was terminated. “It was the worst four hours of my life,” Robin Jasper said.

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She is pregnant with her third child, “I’m 11 weeks.”

After reading a Facebook condolence entry from the family, SSG Jasper’s female friend telephoned his father to inform him that his son was alive. She said she’d just spoken to him on the phone.

“She said, ‘I’m sorry to inform you that on September 12 SGT Juden and SGT Jesse Jasper were killed in Afghanistan,’” Raymond Jasper recounted.

If freedom of speech is absolute, how come it's not applied for private spaces and for the Internet?